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Www Beautiesinbirthdaysuits Y Naked En 1 Beauties In Birthday Suits The Birthday Suit - Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Www Beautiesinbirthdaysuits Y Naked En 1 Beauties In Birthday Suits

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Apart from wearing a Birthday Suit™, you could wear:

• Absolutely nothing, but you run the risk of high levels of infection, critically injuring yourself or just making yourself look as attractive as a rat's arse.
• A paper bag, although bodily fluids would just pour out and stain your clothing.
• A latex suit, although this would look odd, what with you being transparent and all.
• Or you could wear some clothes, which would have to be crazyglued to your body.

edit Buying your (first) Birthday Suit™

For most people, they get their Birthday Suits™ from their parents, as a gift to commemorate their birth. However, some people do not get one for whatever reason, and so it is a good idea to get one on as soon as possible.

You can do one (or several) of the following:

• Go to chain store and buy a standard one off them.

• Go to the tailors, which will sell you high quality and attractive designer wear, and she/he will fit it for you.

• Get a used one off of ebay

Birthday suits are often found on exhibit at special fashion shows around the world, with the latest in new styles coming out every other season.

edit Maintaining your Birthday Suit™

edit Washing

The birthday suit is not machine washable, nor is it to be sent to the dry cleaners or put in a tumble dryer. The suit must always be hand-washed and only very soft detergents should be used when cleaning the suit. The insulating 'hairs' on the top of the suit are required to be washed at least twice a week, otherwise they will start to flake uncontrollably.

Please note that the suit cannot be returned to the shop, so choose wisely!

edit Cleaning

Apart from the obvious washing the suit, it is often a good idea for the owner to use cosmetic creams to enhance and maintain a healthy suit, even when it is well past its expiration date. Moisturizing cream, powder, toner, you name it, it's there. However, the suit is an item of clothing and is not to be waxed with powerful cleaning fluids like a car. It is, however, a good idea to remove old hairs by waxing with wax and rubbing off older decayed bits.

edit Death

It is a fundamental constant that no birthday suit will last forever, no matter how much cream you put on it. Typical symptoms of overuse are blotches, graying hair, loss of hair, wrinkles, and foul odors. It is important to change your suit regularly, not just to keep yourself looking good, but also to ensure that the inner body is not rotted by the dying suit. If not, bones and general bodily health may be damaged beyond repair, and the brain may be permanently fixed in the senile position.But there is only one true cure that can leave you with everlasting skin love, sex freedom and icecream

edit Famous celebrities who have been known to wear birthday suits

• Adam
• Pamela Anderson
• Kelly Brook
• Steve
• Eve
• Donald Duck
• Mark Roberts
• Various Greek Olympic athletes, apparently for supposed performance-enhancing qualities
• Various Greek deities, apparently for the superior conductivity of super power they believed it to have
• Gary Glitter
• Michael Jackson
• The Red Hot Chili Peppers
• Your Mom

edit See also

• The Other Suit...